recently ive been thinking about the night i went a little crazy

theres a few times in my life when i acted out like this

where i let the beetle speak for me

let the beetle move for me

on july 15th i did something crazy

i snuck out of my house in the middle of the night and started walking without looking back

i dont know what caused that or why i started walking

but something kept me moving

i dont live in a safe neighborhood very sketchy streets

i didnt once feel safe but i was talking to random people i would see

i never do that im usually so shy

i walked down this street with no lights

and i was so paranoid and terrified but i kept moving

it wasn't fear or bravery driving me forward it was something different

eventually im maybe 4 miles away from home on a road without sidewalks

trees surround me and eventually the streetlights end

i am met with darkness ahead of me

You have never been more terrified in your life.

I had shown you everything you needed to see.

You decided you wanted to live.

It was up to you however to get yourself back home.

that night was an attempt on my life

i had taken deliriants and started walking

i was told that night i had a manic episode

in truth i cant help but agree

i never felt better in my life

but oh my god wow i was so terrified